ATTENTION

The WHO reports the following:

Due to the extremely successful measures of Exam Stress prevention in the Martin-organism, the severity degree has not moved beyond PHASE 2. The organism is in a stable condition, and is not being overtaken by thoughts. Danger of further progression of the disease is not considered very likely, and the risk of contamination into other organisms is low. You may safely conduct interaction with the organism, but are advised to keep discussion about the coming exams at a minimum, so as not to provoke the (always, even is slightly) possible disruption of balance.

Given the temporal proximity of the exams, and the fact that these are the last exams of the organism’s university Bachelor degree, this is considered a major accomplishment.

Skillful control of the mind, a stable existential grounding, and a good cultivation of spiritual peace of mind are the acknowledged as the reasons for this.

ATTENTION!

The WHO (World Health Organization) has issued an elevated warning for the common disease known as Exam Stress, originating in the southern cognitive region of the organism known as Martin.

This disease is common in young, healthy individuals who attend university or similar types of learning institutions.

Due to the approaching spring exams, the level has been elevated from PHASE 1 to PHASE 2.

Everyone who might possibly come in physical, verbal or mental contact with this person is being advised to stay vigilant. An organism affected with Exam Stress (known in the medical proffesion as HÍ09) can be contagious, although, even if one becomes contaminated, he will not suffer as severily as the one who is to take exams. Mild symptoms include an over-heating in the head; extreme irritation; obsession with the university subject to the point of a distorted sense of reality and hallucinations; digestive complications. In extreme cases, the organism might exhibit psychotic tendencies, have nightmares and even border scizhophrenia. Other symptoms have been known to appear, and they vary with individuals.

The 5 phases are defined as follows:

PHASE 0 — A clear mind. No repetitive thoughts, let alone worries, about exams. This phase extends from the beginning of school year until fairly shortly before the exams, usually about a month before. In unusually studious organisms, the warning level is sometimes raised sooner.

PHASE 1 — A thought crosses the mind of the organism about exams at least once per day. The stress has not yet reached the level of affecting the body in any way. It is safely isolated in the recesses of the mind. No visible signs.

PHASE 2 — The organism starts talking about the coming exams, and starts stating repetitively that he has to start studying soon. Ordinarily, this period extends over a long time, before the organism actually starts to do anything about it. The disease starts to spread in the area of the brain, although not affecting the system to any pathological degree. ATTENTION: At this level the disease reaches a serious level. Although still contained within the cognitive parts of the organism, and not taking over any other systems, the repeating thoughts of the exams start to multiply exponentially, usually reaching other parts of the organism fast.

PHASE 3 — The disease is no longer contained within the mind-system. It has breached and started spreading to respiratory systems, the skin, the digestion, and other parts. It starts impairing the coordination of the limbs and affecting to ability to think clearly. The body transpires at random times, when the thoughts of the exams rush up. The daily pattern of habits starts breaking down. The organism can display a frantic look to the eyes, and look scary. NOTE: This is usually not a cause for concern, unless the organism has other mental problems. This disease very rarely causes the organism to act violently. The organism becomes unbearable to be around, unless for others who are possessed by the same disease. When these organisms get together, a senseless discussion of how horrible and impossible the exams are, and how soon life will end.

PHASE 4 — The disease has not totally taken over the organism. Nothing matters for the organism anymore, but the exams. Life has become quite unbearable. If the organism lives in close communion with other organisms who do not attend a similar learning institution and prepare for exams, these other organisms have usually moved out at this point. Alternatively, the diseased organism has moved out himself. He usually spends most of the hours of the day revising (or at least staring at books, it is debated how much of the time is actually spent revising) in libraries or university buildings. The digestive process has usually completely broken down. The excrements are at this point quite liquid. There is no wonder, as the organism consumes excessive amounts of coffee, black cola drinks, sweets and unhealthy “fast foods”. Breathing is shallow. The body emits foul odours. If the organism takes the time to sleep at all, it is shallow, unsatisfying sleep, often with bad dreams. Desperation, fear, anxiety and panic are consistently felt by the organism. NOTE: This state is extremely serious, and something would in normal circumstances be done to rescue an individual living in such a mentally distressed condition. However, it usually doesn’t last long. It lasts most often only the last hours before the exam, occasionally extending up to one or two days).

PHASE 5 — Complete nervous break-down. The organism has over-studied, and must enter a mental institution. This can happen when the organism has suffered in PHASE 4 for an extended period of time, which can happen if the pathological, repetitive thought pattern takes over, making the organism feel only fear and panic, causing him to lose faith in life and see that there is more to it then the exams. He completely identified with the supposed success of these exams, and feels like a complete failure because he didn’t succeed. NOTE: It is very rare, that any organism reaches this level of the disease.

WHO tries to prevent the unnecessary spreading of the disease and welcomes reports of suspected cases of Exam Stress in other organisms.

Check in soon for updates on the disease.

I just got an idea. I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother recently (which is by the way a pretty funny show), that was called “Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.” It was about just that, how nothing that is actually positive or productive for anything sensible happens after two in the morning.

Now, I want to propose making a list of more such phrases of “urban wisdom”. So go on and comment with smart statemants of this sort and help me make the list! Let’s see how far long we can make it… and how good it will be.

I’ll start with another one that I came up with:

All the best songs are longer than 5 minutes.

Need proof? How about Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley, Spoon, Dreaming Tree, Two Step and many more by Dave Matthews Band, Lightning Crashes by Live, Alive and Black by Pearl Jam … and I could name just about any Sigur Rós song, of course!

OK, bring it!

(And if you’re reading this on Facebook, please comment on http://hirondelle.wordpress.com/!)

Any day, I’d tell anybody that seizing the moment is the most important thing in life. If I could make the rules, it would not be allowed to constantly think about the future or the past, to wish you were somewhere else, doing something else, in some other time.

So, if it’s something I tell other people, I have to make it apply to myself. And voila, a perfect oppurtunity for that today.

I have to sit alone by a desk many hours a day, and write my BA-thesis. Obviously, it’s very tempting to daydream, to wish it were all over and just think about something else. I notice things are getting serious when I start counting down the days until I’m finished with my paper and exams. That really means I’ve stopped being in the moment and started living in the future.

So here’s the challenge: To want what I have. To recognize that what I’m doing, even though it’s dead boring and very difficult, is something I’ve chosen to do, and therefore I should do it properly. To open myself to the moment, to welcome the callenge, and to eventually, if I get there… to love it.

If anything is worth doing, it’s worth giving your energy 100% to it. If your not going to give yourself 100% to it, then it’s not really worth doing.

This is my guideline of today. If I’m going to do something, I’m doing it 100%. Even if it’s being locked up alone in a library all day with a computer and books!

(And besides, I’m not really alone, as I have friends studying with me also! And also, I am actually learning something in the process of all this! And on top of that, I’ve learned something called self-discipline and something else I like to call auto-motivation!)

I have this Google gadget on my iGoogle homepage, that gives me a ‘Buddhist thought of the day’ each day. It also happens that I take a look in a book on spiritual topics myself, from time to time. Although not so much just these days, as all the books I read are called National Identity, On Nationality, The Power of Identity, Nations Without States, or something along those lines. This is, of course, because I’m writing my BA-thesis on changes in national identity in our globalized world today. Perhaps a blog topic for itself? Not today, though, as I have to go on reading! I’ll leave you with Albert Einstein’s buddhist thought of the day.

He who finds a thought that enables him to obtain a slightly deeper glimpse into the eternal secrets of nature has been given great grace.

- Albert Einstein